To whomever it may concern,
I hope this letter finds you in good health... And in a prosperous enough position to put wealth... (Wow I just got here and I’m making Hamilton references)
I’m called Syddnii,,, it’s a strange quirky spelling for a strange quirky girl. So now that you’re here, let me tell you all about my life.
I knew I was different from the rest of the world when I was 5.
My dad took me into the male’s locker room of a water park because my uncle had to go to the bathroom. No one was there except for one man. He came up to us and scolded my father for bringing a little girl with him into the male locker room, telling us that this locker room is meant for boys. As my indifferent, 5 year old self stood tall, I knew the real truth about humans... So, I turn to the man and say, “I can be a boy,” I act dumb and wave my hands in the air. “look I‘m stupid!”
I knew it then that boys were stupid, so why didn’t I run when I was a teenager?
Probably because he showed me the wonderful world of anime.
Anime...oh anime... One of the multiple things that healed me. I feel so at ease just talking about it, just knowing I can go back and rewatch Ouran HighSchool Host Club (my comfort anime) whenever I want, just gives me so much comfort.
The second thing that healed me after “The Best Tragedy” (I am the main character and author of my own story imma call my mid life/identity crisis whatever I want, On y va) was writing.
I’ve been writing ever since 3rd grade. My first story was called: The Mysterious Treehouse, based on The Magic Treehouse series.
I believe that my passion for writing actually kickstarted after I read the outsiders by S. E. Hinton in 7th grade.
In 8th grade, I was angry after I found out that another girls likes my crush. So, I wrote a novel called Jealous Crush.
Ever since 9th grade, I always try to write 4 novels / stories each a year. When I was in 10th grade, I wrote a novel about my "friend" and now it’s published on Wattpad. (I’ll talk about that later) A few of my works can be found on Wattpad. So, if you feel free do whatever you’d like. Also I won a first place writing award in 10th grade. (young Syddnii you’ve done me proud) I also have a writing account I don't post on. (My real Instagram is @Syddniiii)
After ”The Best Tragedy” I began writing out of anger. I wrote poems even though I hate writing poems. I raged, letting out my emotions until there were none, I created a hurricane and when I was done battling myself, beating myself up over things that weren’t my fault and crying for hours. With every word, I coughed up the disgusting smoke that was caught in my lungs for so long and when I realized I was surrounded by all of this, I realized I always was, I have let my mindset become so corrupted, I was always letting them (including my friends.) walk all over me, gaslight me, manipulate me.That's I saw it... The light. Was I dead? I wish I was but then again... What was it? Light? Hope?
What was it? Silence.
After awhile my multiple personalities in my head quieted down, the storm had cleared and the sun shined through all of the remnants of me. Each one had reminded me of “The Great Tragedy” that’s when I decided, it’s time to move.
Therefore, I shook the dust off my feet and departed. I sat down and meditated on who I wanted to be. I created a whole life reset and decided to embark on my journey of finding myself. I watched YouTube, got on Grind TikTok, listened to Podcast, started reading again,,, all of that just to change who I am, my mindset, my future.
I started to focus on me and only me, because at the end of the day, I am the only one on this Earth who understands me and I always get what I want.
If you are a character that I have dropped in the past, I wish you nothing but the best :)
With peace, love and positivity,
Yours truly,
Syddnii Senpai🖤
@syddnii.senpai.shop on Instagram (My etsy shop's page)
@syddniisenpai Tiktok, Twitter, and Pinterest
@the.tyrant on Instagram (My writing page)
@Tyrantttt on Wattpad. https://www.etsy.com/shop/SyddniiSenpaiShop (Anime themed Etsy shop)
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcx52XFG3T2tZyxwYIR7AUQ (YouTube channel)